Rejection is something which can not be avoided. Not a single person will slip away from its touch. It comes in the realms of dating, jobs, schools, friendships and missed opportunities.
But there is something I have learned about rejection which I would like to share.
1. You must wallow in it for less time than you would have celebrated, if things had been different. This is important. If you had been successful in asking the person out/ getting the job etc. you would have felt elated for a few minutes, or hours. Perhaps you would have called a few people to share the news. This is all still relevant with rejection. So, onto point 2.
2. Put a time limit on it. Think REALLY hard about how long you would have celebrated, then shorten the time period. That’s how long you can wallow in your misery. And that’s it! Move on.
3. Rejection is only one person’s interpretation of you or your work. I recently listened to a literary agent speak about how she selects the manuscripts she would take on. She said it had to be something personal. Something which spoke to her on a basic level. If a manuscript didn’t do this for her, it was not always a reflection of the manuscript itself, but her connection to it. This means, that it may be someone else’s all-time favourite book. You don’t know who is reading and judging your work.
4. Keep at it. Persistence is the key to success (except in the case of dating. If they dump you, don’t stalk them, just let it go). After you have wallowed for your set time frame, and accepted that your work etc. was not appropriate for THAT person, get back to work and make sure it is better than before so you avoid this next time.
5. But remember, one success does not guarantee you will always be successful. Harsh, but true. So don’t congratulate yourself too much either. Keep the success’ in mind and let that joy carry you through the tough times.
7 Comments Add yours
Amen – great perspective
Like the idea that you have a finite amount of rejection to get through before you find acceptance.
Exactly, the rejections sort out who’s there to stay. And while I may need to take today off writing, I’ll be back at it soon enough.
a lovely balanced approach which is sometimes harder to put into action than to write about or think
Indeed, similar things I posted in my journey with writing and publishing on my blog home page. 🙂
Brilliantly put Jenni.
Reblogged this on Tanya Davies and commented:
Get zen on rejection with Jenni Curry’s wise words